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Parenting

In reply to the discussion: Need advice about husband's son [View all]

onlyadream

(2,233 posts)
4. more info
Thu Apr 19, 2012, 04:17 PM
Apr 2012

My husband was about 21 when this happened, I met him when he just turned 22 (right on his bday). The baby was born a month later (I had no idea until about 6 months later). My husband certainly knew about the baby but really went into a deep denial for so many years, just so sure that the baby was fathered by someone else. At least that's what I'm told. :/

From my investigating, I know for sure that the boy (now a 21 yo man, really) knows he was adopted. And, yes, he was raised well, and the dad was a good father (although they'd id divorce a while back).

The thing about going into the same exact majors - could it be a coincidence (due to genetics)? Or did the boy know what my husband was and in some kind of attempt to be "good enough" decided (on a subconscious level) to pursue the same field? I know that no one knows this, but it's running thru my head.

Counseling definitely sounds like it's needed (I was just looking into this earlier today). I did open up a can of worms here, but the truth needs to come out, one way or another. And the way it all came out was kind of amazing, like it was really meant to happen.

Thanks for everyone's input.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Need advice about husband's son [View all] onlyadream Apr 2012 OP
first.... seabeyond Apr 2012 #1
Sea's right. If he's unwilling, get a court order. HopeHoops Apr 2012 #6
He is not the first nor will he be the last.... Yooperman Apr 2012 #2
Calm down and really think this through. I know this has been a real shocker, but Arkansas Granny Apr 2012 #3
more info onlyadream Apr 2012 #4
You should get a paternity test doen for the KID'S sake. HopeHoops Apr 2012 #5
Both parties need to participate, the boy may not even know he has a different birth father Happyhippychick Apr 2012 #7
I'm a therapist, here's a freebie Happyhippychick Apr 2012 #8
I agree onlyadream Apr 2012 #9
I'm glad you are feeling better! Happyhippychick Apr 2012 #10
On Genetics jeff47 Apr 2012 #11
Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2015 #12
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