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[Nictuku]

2. I feel for you

I think this is why I am still single, at 63. I was married in my 20's, and had a few relationships after. But the thought of having to share my space now with anyone (especially like you describe) makes me glad I am. My fear is that I would end up with a guy who is dependent on me, and I would have to take care of. When what I really need is a man with carpenter skills (but I'm not really drawn to good ol' boy types). Ah well. Good thing I enjoy my isolation.

I have a neighbor who tells me her husband is gaslighting her. It is so frustrating, mainly because she is not financially independent. She feels trapped. None of my suggestions on how she can make her life better seem to stick. She is younger, and has more options open to her (starting with getting a job to get her out of the house and away from the toxic guy). When you are older, that is more difficult.

I wish I had some kind of sage advice to give you. I hope that my empathy for you, at least, helps.