From your posts, I've gotten the impression that the APN you've been dealing with has a very limited understanding of anxiety disorders, little to no knowledge of how to treat them appropriately, and little, if any, interest in becoming more informed about these things. In short, based on my own experience as a mental health patient, she sounds grossly unqualified to treat your anxiety and unlikely to ever become truly qualified to do so. It really worries me that someone like that seems to have complete control over your ability to get the meds you need.
Personally, I'm a big fan of seeing a psychiatrist for mental health meds. They are, after all, the experts on mental health issues and the medications used to treat them. I've been fortunate to be able to see a psychiatrist for my depression meds for the last 20+ years, and it's worked really well for me. I only have to see him 3 to 4 times a year, and the appointments are very brief, just a quick check in about how I'm doing and whether anything's changed since the last time.
I would love to see you be able to access that kind of care, and if there's any possibility of that option being open to you, I highly recommend it. If not, I am sure there are any number of health care providers who would do a much better job than that APN. I hope your therapist can hook you up with someone good.
Please keep us posted. I know we are all rooting for you here!
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