Cancer Support
In reply to the discussion: Carol passed last night.... [View all]Uben
(7,719 posts)...that's not to say I don't still have periods of sadness almost daily, but I suppose that's part of the process. I deal with things my own way. I have very supportive friends who are actively seeking ways to get me out of the house, which isn't easy. I kinda like the isolation I'm experiencing, but then again, I like getting out too. I have so much to do right now that it keeps me busy and my mind from wandering. Although, I still find it difficult to talk about Carol without tearing up.
Others have worries I don't have. When a spouse passes, often the surviving spouse has to face financial shortfalls and a mountain of medical bills. I have the bills, but also the money to pay them, so that is stress that I don't have. I no longer have children to support, either. My heart goes out to those who do face these stressful situations.
I guess having ten years since Carol first got cancer has served to help me accept her death, as well as my own mortality. We take our turn at life and then leave to give others a chance. That's just the raw truth of life here on earth. Our atoms and molecules become something else for the living to enjoy, and I guess that thought eases the pain of loss a bit. I could search for eternity and never find another Carol, but the only thing that is constant is change, so we have to accept that reality.
I am thankful for both of my marriages. Each gave me strength and happiness. They each gave me tools to help me cope. That fact lets me know I will know it again, somehow, somewhere, someday. Until then, I endeavor to persevere, making life as enjoyable as I possibly can.
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