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Cancer Support

In reply to the discussion: Carol passed last night.... [View all]

Uben

(7,719 posts)
44. Well, I'm still doing fine.....
Sun Mar 25, 2012, 11:53 AM
Mar 2012

...that's not to say I don't still have periods of sadness almost daily, but I suppose that's part of the process. I deal with things my own way. I have very supportive friends who are actively seeking ways to get me out of the house, which isn't easy. I kinda like the isolation I'm experiencing, but then again, I like getting out too. I have so much to do right now that it keeps me busy and my mind from wandering. Although, I still find it difficult to talk about Carol without tearing up.

Others have worries I don't have. When a spouse passes, often the surviving spouse has to face financial shortfalls and a mountain of medical bills. I have the bills, but also the money to pay them, so that is stress that I don't have. I no longer have children to support, either. My heart goes out to those who do face these stressful situations.

I guess having ten years since Carol first got cancer has served to help me accept her death, as well as my own mortality. We take our turn at life and then leave to give others a chance. That's just the raw truth of life here on earth. Our atoms and molecules become something else for the living to enjoy, and I guess that thought eases the pain of loss a bit. I could search for eternity and never find another Carol, but the only thing that is constant is change, so we have to accept that reality.

I am thankful for both of my marriages. Each gave me strength and happiness. They each gave me tools to help me cope. That fact lets me know I will know it again, somehow, somewhere, someday. Until then, I endeavor to persevere, making life as enjoyable as I possibly can.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I am sorry for your loss. thecrow Feb 2012 #1
I am so sorry for your loss Irishonly Feb 2012 #2
My condolences. n/t FSogol Feb 2012 #3
I am so very sorry, Uben shrike Feb 2012 #4
I'm so sorry, Uben. mwdem Feb 2012 #5
I am so sorry for your loss maddezmom Feb 2012 #6
I can't begin to express my sorry. cmd Feb 2012 #7
I am very sorry ... YvonneCa Feb 2012 #8
I am so sorry. murielm99 Feb 2012 #9
Oh, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your care and love of Carol was sinkingfeeling Feb 2012 #10
My heartfelt warm thoughts to you. CurtEastPoint Feb 2012 #11
i'm so sorry. barbtries Feb 2012 #12
Ar dheas Dé go raibh a anam. Irishonly Feb 2012 #13
I am so sorry for your loss cate94 Feb 2012 #14
Oh, I wish I knew what to tell you. UrbScotty Feb 2012 #15
My heart hurts KC Feb 2012 #16
RIP, Carol. BlueIris Feb 2012 #17
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sienna86 Feb 2012 #18
Oh, no... Hepburn Feb 2012 #19
We're sorry for your loss jumptheshadow Feb 2012 #20
I am touched by the responses...... Uben Feb 2012 #21
Uben, mwdem Feb 2012 #22
no advice, just checking in to see how you're doing? maddezmom Feb 2012 #27
My dear Ulben Irishonly Feb 2012 #31
I love listening to whipoorwills Uben Feb 2012 #32
Keep doing that. mwdem Feb 2012 #33
Oh, Uben, I am SO VERY Sorry your dear Lady left this life.... Ecumenist Feb 2012 #23
Oh Uben. I'm so sorry. Tracer Feb 2012 #24
I am SO Sorry . . . Suziq Feb 2012 #25
She is with God now DreamSmoker Feb 2012 #26
I am so sorry. JohnnyLib2 Feb 2012 #28
heartbreaking cynannmarie Feb 2012 #29
You can bank on it! Uben Feb 2012 #30
Just checking in on you... Hepburn Feb 2012 #34
Uben, I'm so very sorry to read this and hope that the memories ... slipslidingaway Feb 2012 #35
How are you doing Uben? Irishonly Feb 2012 #36
I'm doing fine..... Uben Feb 2012 #37
I am glad to hear it Irishonly Feb 2012 #38
I'm so glad to read that you're doing okay. I was really thinking about you and I Ecumenist Mar 2012 #40
Uben, checking in on you ... cynannmarie Mar 2012 #39
Moi? Uben Mar 2012 #41
We keep going forward no matter how difficult it is Irishonly Mar 2012 #42
I am amazed and impressed that you are able to be so productive cynannmarie Mar 2012 #43
Well, I'm still doing fine..... Uben Mar 2012 #44
Uben Irishonly Mar 2012 #45
Thank you for your kind words.... Uben Mar 2012 #46
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