I just discovered a series of wounds on my right foot.

[OldBaldy1701E]

I have not been able to feel my feet in years. Last year, I chipped a bone in my right toe, ( from the stupidest thing you will ever hear about!) and it is still swollen and I doubt it will ever heal.

(They removed veins in my legs to repair my heart. This has reduced my circulation to my lower legs and is exacerbating any issues I have down there. It sucks.)

So, now I am seeing wounds on the bottom that I was unaware of. It has begun to swell even more in the last few days. I am a diabetic and I am in horrible shape due to the last five years of health issues that made me bed ridden for long stretches. Now, I want to get back to how I used to be, and I cannot. My health is deteriorating too fast.

I know what this means.

I cannot live like this. I only have my husband, who is now suffering his own issues and needs help as well.

We are the poor. Having a computer does not indicate a level of wealth these days. Only to the generations that came before such things were commonplace. (I would remind others that there were people who went their whole lives without ever owning a radio back in the forties. They only heard bits from other people or over public address systems. Now, that seems beyond belief.) We can do nothing about any of this. We have just moved to. place we cannot afford, but had no choice because we were lied to and duped into moving up here in the first place. We have paid that price for almost ten years. Now, we will be paying the ultimate price as we slowly die from things that could be addressed, but we are not 'worth' it (to use Brain-Worm Kennedy's description).

And, some people wonder where suicide bombers come from. Really?

The simple fact is that no one is cutting a piece of me off without killing me. So, I need to either find someone who can help me fix this or someone to end this. I am not sure what to do anymore. I do know that this does not have to be this way, yet the fact that it still is tells me that the nation, in general, is okay with it. This position is not new, by the way. Our country has pretty much held this capitalistic ideal for almost a century now. No money, no worth. (That is how we got that orange gibbon, by the way.)

When I have to listen to costs analysis about treatments before I hear about treatments, this life is not for me anymore. One thing I always tried to do was to help others and alleviate suffering if I could. Now, no one will return the favor in either capacity.

Fuck this.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. So sorry. Perhaps your local Diabetes association could help.

[OldBaldy1701E]

9. I suppose I should try them.

However, I know my luck.

[samnsara]

2. you HAVE worth....((hugs))

[OldBaldy1701E]

10. Thanks.

The world at large seems to disagree, however.

[Walleye]

3. Good luck, I really sympathize and hope you get better. I know medical care in this country sucks.

[OldBaldy1701E]

11. Medical care in this country is great.

The fact that it is controlled by money is what is wrong.

Only the rich can get it.

[ShazzieB]

19. Only the rich can get it...or the well insured.

My husband and I are fortunate to be reasonably well insured, thanks to Medicare. Which would be eliminated if the Repigs had their way!

[OldBaldy1701E]

20. Only the well insured can afford it.

I am glad you have Medicare, but that will be going the way of the dodo soon enough.

They don't want us to live. They don't want anyone who is not working themselves into an early grave to make the oligarchs richer to exist.

You either have it, or you are nobody. I am a nobody. Which is why I will die in agony and alone. Because I am not 'worthy' of their crumbs.

[applegrove]

4. Don't agree with the suicide bombers analogy. But agree

that poverty and lack of health care lead to deaths of despair. Why not start a go fund me for treatment for your feet? I'll pitch in.

We need all our fighters. Don't give up yet.

[OldBaldy1701E]

12. Well, the fact that sometimes people in pain and despair feel the need to do something not matter what it is...

Is what I was referring to.

Because something has to give, and if it does not, why bother breathing?

Ya know?

[justaprogressive]

5. Foot ulcers

means you must see a podiatrist ASAP!

No reason to give up. Ask us for what you need.

Some pertinent info to assist.. (Ret. Nurse)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9791567/

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000077.htm

https://www.uofmhealth.org/conditions-treatments/podiatry-foot-care/frequently-asked-questions-diabetic-foot-ulcers]

[OldBaldy1701E]

13. Yep. My mother was a triage nurse for over four decades.

(You might get a kick out of this.)

Once a friend was eating with us and someone said something rather disugsting. This person complained about such talk at the table. He turned and asked us about whether or not it was acceptable to say such a thing while people were eating. I replied that my mother, an emergency room nurse, used to serve us spaghetti while talking about head trauma. Nothing like that bothers me.

I know what I have to do. The fact that I cannot afford that level of healthcare is why I am despondent and defeated. The fact that there is an issue with affording healthcare is even more of a reason.

I am already in debt to the tune of thousands for simple visits. How can I see a specialist? I cannot afford to drive by such a place.

My husband is the only breadwinner. THE ONLY ONE. One salary is completely insufficient to handle the costs of healthcare for someone like me. It is insufficient to afford decent enough insurance to even consider going to such a person.

My hubby keeps telling me to watch what I eat. Only rich people can afford to consistently have decent food of that nature.

If you think this cartoon is just a conceit, you have not been paying attention.

https://i.postimg.cc/jSnnXVcH/temp-Image2-F0-Rtq.avif

[rampartd]

6. diabetes got one of my toes

it is not that bad.

there are now some wonderful antibiotics. amputation is a last resort.

[OldBaldy1701E]

14. I have developed a reaction to antibiotics.

I can't just take them anymore. Of course.

[FarPoint]

7. Being diabetic with foot lesions....

" Red Alert" moment.... To heal such lesions is difficult event with prescribed wound care....

Please contact your physician...ASAOP.

[OldBaldy1701E]

15. I set up an appointment for next Tuesday.

I guess it is 'invalid' time now. I get to sit around and do nothing. My place is in shambles. We barely have a place, and food, and power, and internet. It will all crash down soon enough.

I just wish it to be as painless as possible, but I suspect I won't even get that simple request.

If there is a deity, it surely hates me.

[Bayard]

8. Oh, dear

Do you have a diabetic specialist? An internist? You must get those feet looked at. My diabetic sister ended up being a double amputee.

Other people know more about it than I do, but could you check out getting help through a social worker who can help you make a game plan? For instance, my parents were both disabled, and were able to get a home healthcare aid in about 3 times a week though a Medicaid program.

I know how easy it is to get really depressed, and feeling like there's no hope. It can be really hard to get proactive in your own care when you're mired down. Spend one day doing one thing, for instance, making phone calls. The next day, do another thing.

I wish you well, and better health. We care about you here. Please keep us posted.

[OldBaldy1701E]

16. A 'diabetic specialist'?

I don't even have a doctor in the real sense, as the one I was seeing went on a year long 'bike trip' to China, where her family is from. She has not returned yet. I have been shuffled to some young buck who can barely hide his distaste upon seeing this decrepit person.

I tried to find help through the county. There is nothing there. They have services that apply to Medicaid patients, but I am not one. They won't give it to me. I am not old enough. I am not worth such a thing apparently.

I have no idea who to call. I have no idea what to do. I need help. There is none to be had.

No one cares enough to do anything, so it is very hard to believe it when people say otherwise. I mean, I remember living in Raleigh, N.C., and we were about to be hit with some real winter weather. There was a discussion about what to do about the city's homeless. Now, bear in mind that, at the time, the City of Raleigh owned most of the big, old warehouses by the train tracks. They were sitting pretty much empty because the city was trying to rent them out but no one seemed to want them. With this resource at their disposal, what do you think they decided to do? They decided to let the homeless handle things themselves because they 'had no resources to help them.'

And, I am supposed to believe that anyone cares about someone who doesn't have a worth in the millions. I am an uncooperative serf, because I cannot work and I need assistance. The oligarchs have no time for non-profitable serfs. They have to die out so that more workers can come and make them richer. I am not rich. I don't make other people rich. Therefore, I am less than worthless. The fact that my life's efforts to date amount to nothing and mean nothing is more than I can handle and the fact that things don't have to be this way, but are, is just proof that it is time.

[Lulu KC]

17. Medicaid is income-based, not age-based

Is there a community care clinic anywhere reachable for you? I just entered Minneapolis to see what came up. I'm sure you've already exhausted all possibilities, but if you have household income too high for Medicaid these places can help. https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov

[OldBaldy1701E]

18. Sorry, that was confusing.

Yes, we make about $120 bucks too much. What a fucking joke.

According to the website, there are a few near me. I suppose I will try to make an appointment, but the website page for appointments kept coming up with a '404 Error'. (There are several around that are run by the same organization.)