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The Borowitz Report: Olympics Update: Trump Wins Gold in Downhill Presidency
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/olympics-update-trump-wins-gold-in
MILAN (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump celebrated at the Winter Olympics on Tuesday after winning the gold medal in the downhill presidency.
Trump beamed as he stood on the winners’ podium, boasting, “Obama never won this.”
Notching a historic win, Trump set a new speed record for driving the world’s strongest economy into a ditch.
Despite his victory, he remained bitter about the Super Bowl halftime show, telling reporters that “Bad Bunny took a job away from an American bunny.”
- short article, no more at link -
Trump beamed as he stood on the winners’ podium, boasting, “Obama never won this.”
Notching a historic win, Trump set a new speed record for driving the world’s strongest economy into a ditch.
Despite his victory, he remained bitter about the Super Bowl halftime show, telling reporters that “Bad Bunny took a job away from an American bunny.”
Right on, Andy!
The Borowitz Report is 100% written by Andy Borowitz, and 0% AI-generated.
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