Borowitz - Misty About Kristi

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

On Friday, I posted this poem about Kristi Noem:

Kristi Noem is Stephen Miller

With hair extensions and tons of filler

-snip-

It turns out that composing poems about Kristi is contagious. After I got the ball rolling, TBR readers produced a veritable explosion of Noem poems.

-snip-

There once was a woman called Kristi

Whose hair was all tangled and twisty

She thought she was a hit

But doesn't know shit

About constitutional history.

--Sam B.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/misty-about-kristi

[sop]

1. Another 'Noem Poem,' by Andy Borowitz

"When I see Kristi, I will picket
My sign will read, REVENGE FOR CRICKET"

[Abolishinist]

2. Kristi Noem, American Ghoul (with apologies to poetry)

Kristi rides in, gun on hip,
Fresh from another photo trip,
Where freedom means you shoot your dog
And call it brave through tearless fog.

A ranch-raised queen with Botoxed glare,
She governs mostly by hot air.
Noem, the sage of empty tweets,
Where common sense and cruelty meet.

She banned some books, then praised the Lord—
“God hates nuance,” she implored.
With every law she helps rewrite,
She proves dead wrong still counts as right.

She snubbed the mask, embraced the plague,
Then blamed the press for her own vague.
A leader forged in MAGA’s mold:
All swagger, stunts, and Bible bold.

So here’s to Kristi, cowpoke fake,
Who'd drown the truth to win a stake.
May history write, with scathing pen:
“She played the part, and fooled ten men.”

AI generated