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This Atlantic "military parade" article is satire, but I think the last line is the stone cold gospel truth.
In short, Trump's not going to walk away from this debacle and give up his dream of a Kim Jong Un parade. He'll have his list of grievances, and next year, he'll demand double the budget, just to make sure he gets what he wants.https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2025/06/trump-birthday-tank-parade/683201/?gift=jQN1t1D1nkO2TQodBiz5KJw-55bTGeyzOfUpLHUMZCs&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share
I thought it was pretty clear what I wanted. But obviously, it wasn’t!!! This was like the kind of tank parade your mom makes you lovingly from scratch, and I wanted the kind of tank parade that is made in China or North Korea. I don’t want a special American tank parade where our soldiers are waving and smiling out of the tanks. I want one like my friends have.
Then the Army goes by, but bigger and more excited this time. They are finally doing the high-kick thing! Then my dad climbs out of the tank and says, “The hole in you that has never been filled is full now!” and whispers, “I have a special surprise for you, my best boy! Look out your window, Donald, and see!” I run to the window and it’s the ’80s again! Finally! Everywhere I look there are flags, and so many dollars, and a bald eagle, and an oil well spouting for joy. I am the president, and the pope, and the tank has made me king for life! It is the best birthday ever!
Needless to say, this is NOT what happened.
They’d better do better for my 80th.
I thought it was pretty clear what I wanted. But obviously, it wasn’t!!! This was like the kind of tank parade your mom makes you lovingly from scratch, and I wanted the kind of tank parade that is made in China or North Korea. I don’t want a special American tank parade where our soldiers are waving and smiling out of the tanks. I want one like my friends have.
Then the Army goes by, but bigger and more excited this time. They are finally doing the high-kick thing! Then my dad climbs out of the tank and says, “The hole in you that has never been filled is full now!” and whispers, “I have a special surprise for you, my best boy! Look out your window, Donald, and see!” I run to the window and it’s the ’80s again! Finally! Everywhere I look there are flags, and so many dollars, and a bald eagle, and an oil well spouting for joy. I am the president, and the pope, and the tank has made me king for life! It is the best birthday ever!
Needless to say, this is NOT what happened.
They’d better do better for my 80th.
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